Context

I have lived just two decades of my life, but the path has been challenging which made me the person today I am, being the only ENGINEER out of my village. Born in an orthodox family in a village, I am the younger to a hearing-impaired elder brother and presence of a special kid in house, brings in it's own personal challenges. We were fortunate to always have our parents support by our side but the relatives and friends in the society were a constant trouble. It was rare to have two kids back then, but despite having only son as a Special child, my parents always provided us with the best of their potential.

My father is employed in a government job, so luckily we got to move to a small town. I was admitted to a co-ed school which was a path-breaking step and my parents faced a lot of backlash from our relatives. And, I had to prove my worth, even doing it till date.

WHY

Don't talk loudly! Don't laugh out loud! Don't play with boys! Don't play with guns! Don't be a Tomboy! Don't come late! Don't go alone! Don't wear short skirts & sleeveless! Don't get wet in the rains! Don't do Engineering, it's not for girls!!

So, many don'ts in our life, so many conditioning, WHY?? Ain't we raising humans?? It's so sad that our society does not realize that "What it is to be a Women?

But we all know that What it takes to be a Women?"

The School Days

The sex ratio here is itself startling, out of a total of 65 students in a section, only 20 were girls; this says it all. There were several instances in my school which always questioned the self-worth of girls. But, I was sort of that girl who was not ready to abide by the rules set by the society.

Computers fascinated me, when first time I saw this black box of magic in my Computer lab at the age of eight, I was in awe of it. I remember in class 4, we were taught "Logo Programming Language" and it excited me so much. Learning Computers back then, was a dream come true. In Lab period, I was so disgusted with the behavior of our Computer Teacher, when he left all the girls in a separate cabin with few computers and went to teach the boys all the practical approach. The only thing they cared about was to take care of the components of that machine all time. In the break time, I used to learn from the boys of our class and eventually became good at it.

From then onwards, learning flowcharts and conversions were so much fun for me. I badly wanted to learn coding at that time but our teacher didn't teach us at all, he only taught to students who took tutions from him but I couldn't afford it. Finally when I reached my Class 10, I found a good teacher and I learnt basic "Java Language". I used to solve a lot of questions in my notebook and my happiness knew no bounds when I scored 96 marks in Computer subject in my 10th Boards exam.

I always studied hard and been the Ranker in my class but it was sad to see that the top 10 students of our class in academics included just one girl, that's only me. Science always fascinated me and I always kept struggling with the Physics numericals and Chemistry equations. I had an interest in the practical approach but the Science exhibition involved only the senior boys and the girls were sent to the flower exhibition competition.

I loved Maths & Science, initially I was weak in it but I kept learning in spite of the teachers saying that girls are not good in these subjects. I failed in Maths in Class 7 first semester exams by five marks scoring 35 marks, cried a lot, didn't want to tell my parents, decided to never tell anybody in my life. I wrote an emotional letter to my parents as I couldn't face them, they stood by my side, understood my problem and then I toiled hard and scored 85 in the second semester itself.

The bias was so high that boys were selected for the Science Club and girls were sent to the Literary Club of our school. I was selected twice to be the Editor of our School's Annual Magazine in Class X & XII but the Typing and Formatting part to be done on Computer was assigned only to the boys who were the member of the editor group.

Can girls can't be good in Literature as well as with Science and keyboard?

I remember, while choosing subjects in Class XII, my relatives were keen upon me for choosing Biology over Maths as the narrative of the society goes by that girls should not do engineering, it's for boys; girls should go for either Medical or Teaching profession. To my despair, only two girls in Science Stream opted for Maths and none for Computers. The boys had trouble with me for my good performance in so-called their world, and I stood to their beliefs and proved them right by securing second position in my 12th boards as a "Girl" and even selected as the School Prefect.

My long hard-work paid off well when during the Graduation Day, I received the "Principal's Award" along with "Scroll of Honor".

Here's the moment from that day :

The College Days

My health issues throughout my life has been challenging which impacted my studies a lot. I have "Gilberts Syndrome" and have been battled with 'Hepatitis-A' thrice in my life. The doctors said not to overexert myself but this would be a problematic thing for an ambitious girl like me to do. The normal Bilirubin level should range 0-1 and mine went up to 18 when I was in my mid Class 11 and I was instructed complete bed-rest. My preparations for the Engineering exams got shattered as this time my sickness continued over a year. I wanted to become an engineer because I also wanted to pursue my mother's dream.

I burnt mid-night oil in the last months of my Class XII and finally made it to the newspaper headlines for my boards achievement (I stood 7th in my district) and cleared the entrance scoring decent marks and got into the best government college of my State, making sure to not add much financial burden over my parents.

The place changed, but the people around remained the same. The warden and staff of our hostel discouraged us for being involved in the field of Technology. The senior boys always considered us as incompetent in Tech. In my second year, I got internship in a reputed Public Sector Unit but the Manager never took me seriously. He didn't assign me a proper project and least interacted with me, thinking that girls are not meant for Technology or rather to work with computers. To my astonishment, there were only few women present in the office.

As a 19 year old young girl, I had enough of this to go through. I decided to explore my ways out. Lack of opportunities and guidance was taking a tough toll on me.

My sickness made me overweight and incapable, people started body-shaming me and I was not ready to see such a version of myself. I got into fitness, lost 18 kilograms without gym within 6 months, thus reversing my "Gilbert's Syndrome".

Yes!! you read that right, even I can't believe this but I did on my own just with the help of internet.

Then, again I started preparing for the entrance exams for Masters, in search of better opportunities but God had different plans for me. Covid hit in my 3rd and 4th year and my family, like everyone suffered a lot. My family needed me and I am fortunate that I was there for them.

But Wait!! Now what??

I couldn't clear my entrance, secured 1st position in my B.Tech in Computer Science and got placed in a service-based company.

I didn't wanted to settle for less, I wanted to make a mark in life. In the mean-time, I got to know about varied practical implementations of Computer Science, DevOps, Web-development, Open-Source, Cloud Native Technologies, to name a few. Currently, I have started learning and practicing these, following different amazing communities, got selected as the Student Ambassador for the Open source community by Mr. Saiyam Pathak, a veteran in these fields.

Here's a screenshot of my GitHub profile, representing a sample of my work :

For me, it works like this -

Dreams hard to achieve, are more fun to chase !!

I have started my journey once again by keep learning in public and I am happy to see the improvement within myself.

Women Opinion Matters

The one question which always tingled in my mind was : Why are there not many stories of women's achievement in Tech? Why there are so less examples of women present in Tech?

On reading the newspaper headlines, even now I always wonder that if our girls are performing absolutely brightly in their board examinations, Where do they get lost after school? Why are they married so early? Where are their results in Engineering Entrance exams?

We have to bridge the gap of gender inequality. We need to set a path for motivating more women to come forward in the Tech World.

This society threatens us, sets boundaries for us, questions our worth and abilities. Some of us fights back, some survive but the majority are lost in darkness. How long will we keep this industry as male dominated?

When we strengthen our WOMEN, we strengthen a Generation !!

Thanks for Reading :) I am thankful to Hashnode for giving us this amazing opportunity where we could speak our heart out.

PS: I am a newbie and this is my third blog in row, So feel free to pen down your opinions below.

Would Love to Connect -

Bio link 🔗 linktr.ee/BushraNazish